Why Is Love Always A Near-Miss?
-Part two
Art reflected on his own personal favorite moment with Tess. A month ago, after Carrie's going away party, they walked back from Wallingord with Sarah. Sarah walked ahead, and Art and Tess slipped behind, alone. She held his hand. You've left a permanent mark on me, he told her. and you've left a permanent mark on me, she said back.
Art kept walking up the block toward 47th. The Continental and Costas - where I -
Tommy's - Where Trent and I -
From 47th to 50th he was barely paying attention, lost in thought. Then he noticed the doorway to the stairs, the Halloween party from two weeks ago, the party where Sarah had said the thing that angered him. Art was talking about what a crazy year it had been; getting kicked out of the Garage House, making the movie, everyone leaving the pizza place. Then Art mentioned The Actress. Hey, you got laid, Sarah said in a cheery voice.
Art didn't find it funny.
Sunday night when Tess came to visit him at the other job, he sat down and vented about Sarah's comment.
So that's what it's reduced to? That month of turmoil, and the month afterwards when I was trying to figure out what happenend? Is it all just reduced to getting laid?
For a Women's Studies graduate, Sarah sure has a frat-boy mentality, Art said.
And what did happen, anyway, Art wondered. It wasn't just sleeping-with-the-actress. It wasn't some sordid cheap thing. It was a relationship, or an attempt at one, anyway. Maybe it was a failed attempt, but a serious one.
And maybe he can never have a relationship as long as Tess has so much of his heart.
Crossing 50th he reminded himself, I'm too old for her, or too...boring. Or too SOMETHING.
He remembered the time he sent Tess an email. He knew she didn't check email often, so he called her to tell her. I sent you an email, he said. It's a question.
What's the question, she asked.
You have to read it, he said.
What's the question.
I can't tell you over the phone, he said.
Maybe when I'm 30, if I'm not married, she said jokingly.
No, he said laughing. That's not the question.
Why is love always a near-miss, Art wondered, crossing 52nd. In soccer, if you have ten near-misses, you eventually put one shot on target. Have I had ten near-misses yet? Who can even keep track of something like that?
The Galway Arms, where Liza used to play. That's who he had based that part of the Actresses charatcer on.
How bizarrely connected everything is. Liza was an Extra in the other film. She was a singer-songwriter - she lived with Art for a while. He moved out of that apartment, moved into the Garage House, eventually moved back to an apartment across the courtyard from the first one, made this new movie, with The Actress, who is a singer-songwriter, and who lived with Art for a time.
But the emotional content of the character was Tess, not Liza. And The Actress. The Actress made it her own, so let's not lose our grip, Art reminded himself. The movie is The Actresses, not someone else's.
Crossing 55th - Pizza Pi - used to be the delivery kitchen Art worked at. Walking past he noticed the ovens - the two we left them, Art thought, we had four in there, took two, left two.
University Theater, where they shot the end of the movie.
Past 56th.
Home.
It's Freddie's 21st tonight. Another one of my friends is turning 21, Art thought. Is it too much to ask that all of my friends at least be over 21?
There are still one or two who aren't.
The Actress called Freddie The Sloppy guy.
It's good to have friends.
Tess will be there.
-Peter Wick - November 14, 2006
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Why is Love Always a Near-miss? - Part 1 - Nov. 2006
Why is Love always a near-miss?
A short story, and sequel to "Movie Pizza Love"
Art began his walk by looking for the space that used to be The Last Exit.
That's where it all started. Art's older brother Doug had taken him there, how old was he 15? 13? Could it possibly have been 25, 26, 27 years ago? This is the place, he realized, it's not a cafe at all anymore, it's actually a part of the University, The Learning Center, the sign said, this is the place, though, I am certain of it, he thought.
Had Art really been that teenager, enamored by his older brother and his intellectual friends and the chessboard tables and the whole idea of the University District? That was a lifetime ago, he thought. The University District and Art had changed so much, sometimes together, sometimes apart.
And here they stood. Art was preparing to say good bye to the U. District in five months.
A block over - it's "Cafe Allegro at College Inn" now - used to be open 24 hours. Art had recently found an old journal entry he'd written there one night at the age of 20 or 21, staying up all night writing and drinking coffee and smoking - that was when he was a smoker - not because it was cool to stay up all night writing and drinking coffee and smoking, but because Art was homeless. Yes, Art had once been homeless, and the U. District was his home.
Downstairs is the College Inn Pub. Art was there two nights ago. Tess called him just as he was leaving, he stayed and waited to meet her. His best memory of the College Inn Pub was from a year and a half ago, was it really a year and a half ago, all his 20-something friends coming by to celebrate his 40th birthday? His most deeply held moment of the evening was when Tess showed up an approached his chair from behind, wrapping her arms around him. Later that evening she told him, "Art, all these people love you."
The best memories always involve Tess.
Art crossed Campus Parkway, leaving the College Inn behind, thinking about the three years - had it really been three years - since he and a 20-year-old Tess first danced together on the coffee table at that Garage House Halloween party. Tess is 23 now. He worked with her earlier today. They're both leaving the pizza place later this week.
The memories of this neighborhood go back so many years, but life only goes on now, Art thought.
Cafe Solstice, where Leslie used to work. Across the street, the Big time Brewery and Pub, Megan and Paul met me there, he remembered. Further up the block, Ave Copy Center, where he gets so much copy work done, whenever he walks in the guy says, "Hey, how are the screenplays doing?"
Across 42nd, Cafe On The Ave. Cafe On The Ave! That's Espresso Roma, what's this Cafe On The Ave business?
That's where he always had film people meet him. That's where he and The Actress met every Saturday earlier in the year, to talk about the film they would make in May and June.
Could you tell then what would happen, he wondered. Could you go back to those Saturday meetings in March and April and see any signs or warnings of what would happen?
Art stepped into Bulldog News to grab a Weekly and a Stranger, kept walking up the block. Radio Shack, where Mick used to work Ruby, where Shawna is a bartender, Art and Tess and a few others closed the place one night last week. Flowers, Kai's, how many countless hours have I spent at Kai's, he wondered, as he crossed 43rd?
Four Corners Art and Frame. Art had bought cards there, cards he'd written in and given to Tess whenever she left town. It was a little ritual.
The Japanese store - what's it's name, anyway? University Bookstore, the heart and soul of the whole neighborhood. Across the street, Big 5 Sporting Goods, cheap shoes, the shoes he was wearing, the shoes that were falling apart on his feet. How many cheap pairs of shoes had he bought there?
Art waited to cross 45th. coming up was the block they'd shot some of the film on. the guys on the street had begun calling him "The Actor." Now, months later, he was back to being just the Pizza Guy.
The Mix - they trade ice cream for pizza. Tower Records - going out of business. The space used to be Wizards Of The Coast. Art had worked in the restaurant there.
Across the street was the pizza place. So many people had left, so many were new. the new ones didn't have any idea he'd even shot a film there. In less than a week Art and Tess would be gone also.
Earlier today, working with her, he reminded himself to live up to what he had written about her.
Yes, they finally talked about that. I guess it's time to admit that I wrote about you a little, he said. She was not upset. For a year, he worried that she would be upset.
Part 2 also available to read -
A short story, and sequel to "Movie Pizza Love"
Art began his walk by looking for the space that used to be The Last Exit.
That's where it all started. Art's older brother Doug had taken him there, how old was he 15? 13? Could it possibly have been 25, 26, 27 years ago? This is the place, he realized, it's not a cafe at all anymore, it's actually a part of the University, The Learning Center, the sign said, this is the place, though, I am certain of it, he thought.
Had Art really been that teenager, enamored by his older brother and his intellectual friends and the chessboard tables and the whole idea of the University District? That was a lifetime ago, he thought. The University District and Art had changed so much, sometimes together, sometimes apart.
And here they stood. Art was preparing to say good bye to the U. District in five months.
A block over - it's "Cafe Allegro at College Inn" now - used to be open 24 hours. Art had recently found an old journal entry he'd written there one night at the age of 20 or 21, staying up all night writing and drinking coffee and smoking - that was when he was a smoker - not because it was cool to stay up all night writing and drinking coffee and smoking, but because Art was homeless. Yes, Art had once been homeless, and the U. District was his home.
Downstairs is the College Inn Pub. Art was there two nights ago. Tess called him just as he was leaving, he stayed and waited to meet her. His best memory of the College Inn Pub was from a year and a half ago, was it really a year and a half ago, all his 20-something friends coming by to celebrate his 40th birthday? His most deeply held moment of the evening was when Tess showed up an approached his chair from behind, wrapping her arms around him. Later that evening she told him, "Art, all these people love you."
The best memories always involve Tess.
Art crossed Campus Parkway, leaving the College Inn behind, thinking about the three years - had it really been three years - since he and a 20-year-old Tess first danced together on the coffee table at that Garage House Halloween party. Tess is 23 now. He worked with her earlier today. They're both leaving the pizza place later this week.
The memories of this neighborhood go back so many years, but life only goes on now, Art thought.
Cafe Solstice, where Leslie used to work. Across the street, the Big time Brewery and Pub, Megan and Paul met me there, he remembered. Further up the block, Ave Copy Center, where he gets so much copy work done, whenever he walks in the guy says, "Hey, how are the screenplays doing?"
Across 42nd, Cafe On The Ave. Cafe On The Ave! That's Espresso Roma, what's this Cafe On The Ave business?
That's where he always had film people meet him. That's where he and The Actress met every Saturday earlier in the year, to talk about the film they would make in May and June.
Could you tell then what would happen, he wondered. Could you go back to those Saturday meetings in March and April and see any signs or warnings of what would happen?
Art stepped into Bulldog News to grab a Weekly and a Stranger, kept walking up the block. Radio Shack, where Mick used to work Ruby, where Shawna is a bartender, Art and Tess and a few others closed the place one night last week. Flowers, Kai's, how many countless hours have I spent at Kai's, he wondered, as he crossed 43rd?
Four Corners Art and Frame. Art had bought cards there, cards he'd written in and given to Tess whenever she left town. It was a little ritual.
The Japanese store - what's it's name, anyway? University Bookstore, the heart and soul of the whole neighborhood. Across the street, Big 5 Sporting Goods, cheap shoes, the shoes he was wearing, the shoes that were falling apart on his feet. How many cheap pairs of shoes had he bought there?
Art waited to cross 45th. coming up was the block they'd shot some of the film on. the guys on the street had begun calling him "The Actor." Now, months later, he was back to being just the Pizza Guy.
The Mix - they trade ice cream for pizza. Tower Records - going out of business. The space used to be Wizards Of The Coast. Art had worked in the restaurant there.
Across the street was the pizza place. So many people had left, so many were new. the new ones didn't have any idea he'd even shot a film there. In less than a week Art and Tess would be gone also.
Earlier today, working with her, he reminded himself to live up to what he had written about her.
Yes, they finally talked about that. I guess it's time to admit that I wrote about you a little, he said. She was not upset. For a year, he worried that she would be upset.
Part 2 also available to read -
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